For the past 18 years, Teri Beasley has tuned into a police radio while her husband is at work.
She just wants to know that he's okay.
"It's terrifying," Beasley said. "You worry every time they walk out the door."
Her husband, Lt. Doug Beasley, has been a Kanawha County deputy for almost two decades.
But she said her greatest fear has stayed the same: "That I get a knock on the door saying something happened."
Beasley said she's always worried about his safety, but after a gunman shot three officers at a police station in New Jersey Friday morning, she said she doesn't know where her husband is ever safe.
"I'm worried about how people have changed," Beasley said. "They have no respect for law enforcement anymore. I'm not sure what happened with society."
At only eight years old, Ryan Beasley said he shares the same fears as his mom.
"When he goes on calls, I get scared," Ryan said. "I don't know if he's going to get hurt. He's one of the best dads I know, that I've ever met."
But both mother and son said when they hear about a police shooting anywhere, it makes their hearts ache.
"I'm still sad when other police get hurt because I'm sad for their families," Ryan said.
Beasley said the people married--and related to--police officers make up a family of their own.
"They live the same life we live because we chose to marry a law enforcement officer," she said.
A family that dons its own kind of badge.
"It's a lifestyle. You have to be ready knowing they won't come home one day."
After 18 years, Beasley tunes in less and less.
But something she continues to do is shine a blue light on her porch to remember the world's fallen officers.
And every now and then, she'll listen for her husband's numbers.